Blame the new math

By the time my children had reached the third grade I could no longer help them with their math homework. “I never learned it this way! It’s that new math!”, I would say, and they would tell me “It’s Chicago Math.”

Chicago Math, for the uninitiated, had its origins in one of the many radical militant branches of the NEA. In this case, a group of elitist educators decided to change the way addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division work, so that the average citizen of Chicago could no longer calculate how long it had been since the Cubs won the World Series.

Today, all our children are being “taught” this way, and we are all becoming victims of the new math.

For the past three weeks, I have followed an exercise routine that was set up for me by a personal trainer. I am exercising daily, and burning anywhere from 350 to 700 calories per workout. I am also following a nutrion plan that I set up with a dietitian. I am eating between 2100 and 2600 calories per day. Following these prescriptive plans, I should be losing weight at a rate that is comparable to the Wicked Witch of the West after the Tin Man dumps the bucket of water on her head. Instead, I am plateauing. Don’t try to make me feel better by saying muscle weighs more than fat.  I have seen myself in the mirror, and…I’m not even going to go there.

The only plausible explanation is that my body is following the new math!

Every Bite You Take…

I understand that Sting’s song “Every Breath You Take” was originally written about an individual with a weight problem. In fact, I am going to share the first few verses, and this is exclusively available only on my blog. Sting himself shared this with me. Yea, that’s it, that’s the ticket.

“Every bite you take, all the bread you bake, every snack you make, every slice of cake, I’ll be watching you

Exercise each day, burn the fat away, do just what I say, and you’ll feel okay, I’ll be watching you

Oh can’t you see, how thin you can be, how your poor heart aches, as your arteries quake”

Sting said he wasn’t happy with that last lyric, and eventually the song evolved into a multi-platinum hit. Pity. It could have been an inspiration to so many.

Well, I am in a good groove with exercise, doing something everyday, but I am sore. This weekend I walked 3 miles on the treadmill on “hills” at level 10, in under an hour.  (Monadnock is just over 3 miles to the top) I’ve come a long way for someone who used to get winded playing “Rock, paper, scissors”.

Now I need to push towards my fiftieth birthday. I am not going to weigh myself until then, but I will focus on total health. I am looking forward to the carrot cake, and then the final 90 days before my climb.

Nothing is Impossible

In the last week the world has witnessed some truly amazing events: the inauguration of the nation’s first African-American President, the emergency landing of a commercial jet in the Hudson River without a single fatality, and the Arizona Cardinals making it to the Super Bowl!

I don’t know which would have been considered the most unthinkable two years ago.

It just goes to show you, nothing is impossible.

So I carry that message with me when I go to the Y, or get on the scale, or deal with the Governor’s proposed budget cuts for long term care.

I just started working with a new trainer, who has climbing experience, and will prepare me for the May climb. I am about to meet with a nutritionist to plan a meal schedule. I am gearing up for the final 100 days before Monadnock and I meet, mano y mountaino, for our steel cage fight to the death.

Limping into the New Year

In the eight day span between Christmas Eve and New Year’s I attended six gatherings with family or friends. Three of those occassions were hosted at my home.

I am sick of spiralled ham, veggies and dip, cheese platters, and Christmas cookies.

Don’t get me wrong: I love seeing my family and friends, and I am grateful to have lots of food around given the state of the world these days, but I welcome back the “normalcy” of my daily routine, including exercise, regular hours of sleep, and no trays of food  within arms reach everywhere I go.

During the same eight day span, there was no regular exercise. It was not a great ending to the year.

My new friend Oprah is doing a lot of soul-searching these days as she attempts to get back on track with her health. She has concluded that being overweight is not so much a food issue as it is a love issue. I agree to a point. If you don’t care enough about yourself to prioritize your own health, you will become unhealthy. Healthy doesn’t happen by itself. We just take it for granted. For people who are overweight, there are self-image issues that can easily cause you to not care enough for yourself.  But, hey, that’s why we spend $18 billion dollars a year in this country for antidepressants, right?

I have been reading about cultures where the only link to good health and long life seems to be the tightness of the community, the relationships that people have with each other. The water is not good, the diet is not healthy, but people have strong social architecture, meaningful lives, and lots of opportunities to give and receive affection and love.

And all this time I thought it was margarine versus butter.

I had some news from my doctor last week: my thyroid function is a bit low. This means I get a boost of daily synthetic hormone, which theoretically should speed my metabolism. Whoa, Nellie! Look at that weight just melt away!

I fell on the ice yesterday while getting the morning newspaper. Last weekend I slipped on a wet floor at a store while trying to outrun people at a clearance sale. I was able to regain my balance before falling, but for a moment I looked like a clown in a high-wire act. My back is killing me.  So be careful out there. It may be a New Year, but the issues, the obstacles and the pain seem very familiar.

Still In The Game

I am in the belly of the beast right now, two days before Christmas, where food is plentiful in every office, at every meeting, at every holiday gathering. Yet, I am in a good place. I have remained dedicated to at least 30 minutes of exercise daily, with few exceptions, and, while I haven’t denied myself the spoils of the season, I have not overindulged, except for yesterday.

I am at least 30 pounds lighter than I was last Christmas, although I have not been on the scale in a few days. Today, my shirt collar feels loose, my sportcoat seems roomier, and I am staying mindful of where I am and what I am doing. It is kind of like watching myself from across the room as I stake out the various buffet tables.

I am excited for Christmas this year. I haven’t been for the last few, perhaps because of the deaths of Ann and Mom, along with the wretched excess of the holiday season. This year we have scaled back, and the pace has not been as frenetic. I have been able to enjoy moments this time around, without them speeding by like television channels when someone else has the clicker. I have the clicker right now.

I hope you all have wonderful holidays, filled with moments that become warm memories and traditions, and may you all control the clickers in your life.

Sprinting Towards Christmas

I figured out what I was doing wrong: I was following the Oprah diet!

Poor Oprah! And I thought my weight loss was public! She has millions of viewers, and she succeeds or fails in their full view.

For those of you who think losing weight is easy, Oprah is exhibit A. She has the means to afford private trainers, personal chefs, and she has the motivation as a public figure and spokesperson for all who have struggled with their weight. So when she struggles as she is now, it only proves how difficult it is for some of us. It is not as easy as just walking away from the pizza.

I have a friend who says the longer it takes to lose the weight, the more apt you are to keep it off. I hope he’s right.

As of this a.m., I am down another three and a half pounds since my last journal entry. And this despite wrecking my back somehow, which has rendered me nearly immobile. Imagine if I could exercise right now? I am achieving what I thought was impossible in years past: losing weight at Christmastime.

I am taking it day by day, meal by meal, moment by moment, and trying to make the best decisions. If I can continue on this roll, I will start the New Year with forward momentum. I hope Oprah can turn it around, but I hope she does it the right way, not with a fad diet. Based on her past history, I believe she will find a worthy goal, her own Mount Monadnock, and she will succeed.

Cue the “Theme From Rocky”

It seems I have gotten over my case of “Blogger’s Constipation”, since it has only been a few days since my last entry. I put new batteries in my scale, and the damage was not as bad as I suspected. Total weight loss for the year: 21 pounds. Okay, so I am not where I expected, but at least I am not starting over again from square one.

This journey has been like a heavyweight fight (pun intended), where I came out smokin’ and won the early rounds, in the middle rounds there was not a lot of action, and then I began to lose some of the later rounds. Now it is late in the fight, crunch time, as they say, and I need to decide how badly I want to win, and put my intentions into action.

Since Thanksgiving I have stepped up my exercise efforts, so they’re back to daily, and I am focusing on eliminating those times when I snack mindlessly, which means the difference between gaining, maintaining, and losing (which in this case means winning).

So this morning, there I was getting up in the pre-dawn dark, all Rocky-like but without the raw eggs, and heading to the Y. I was pleasantly surprised when the girl at the front desk knew my name. Maybe she was the same one who was working when I left the Y last night?

I am consciously trying to shift my workouts to morning, given my social and work schedule for the month of December. However, I still need to keep spinning class as “sacred time” on my schedule. Interestingly, when asked what evening I was available for a holiday get-together, I offered up evenings that I typically workout, but said “no” for nights when my children have school concerts, plays, track meets, etc. We all make decisions everyday about our health, and clearly I have been willing to skip workouts too easily. By moving the exercise to the a.m., at least I can “get ‘er done” and not feel overbooked in the evening. 

This is the toughest time of year to lose weight. At this time last year, I was really packing it on. It will be a monumental challenge to overcome, and I have to dig deep and put everything I know into practice. I have to say “no” sometimes, to myself, to my friends, and my family. I know I will have support. As Rocky would say “Go for it!”

Finding true north

Long time, no blog. You know that can’t be good. I have just gone through the toughest thirty days of my journey thus far, and I can’t really give you a good reason why.

I have been frustrated by how busy I am, and how easy it has been for me to skip exercise. I have not been willing to bear the temporary discomfort of wanting a snack at night, and I have given in to that temptation over and over again. There have been times in the last month when I have felt despair, like “what’s the use?” kind of despair.

I have been deluding myself into thinking my weight is not increasing, even though the suits I had tailored this summer are feeling a little tighter. For several weeks, my digital scale has read “Lo”, which I took to mean “Well, it may not be specific, but it can’t be bad!”

Like my scale, my batteries have been low. Why? Who knows? The late afternoon darkness? The economy? The Patriots?

My attempts at cultivating mindfulness have not produced much success. If you think I am exaggerating, just ask Lucy. Last week I was drinking black coffee from my green Eden Alternative mug while perusing the morning paper. Lucy wanted to play fetch with her newest toy, a life-size cloth squirrel (I am trying to raise her right. If anyone knows where I can buy a small Yankee uniform that I can put on the squirrel please let me know). Without letting my eyes leave the page I reached down again and again to wrestle the squirrel from her mouth and heave it across the room. After a dozen or so throws, Lucy approached me again. I noticed Lucy’s grip seemed stronger. She was determined, I thought, not to let go this time. I yanked hard, to the point I thought I might be lifting little Lucy off the floor. “My, she’s getting strong!” I thought. I looked down at her for the first time. She didn’t have the squirrel in her mouth, and I had her by the bandana she wears around her neck.

More evidence of my mindlessness.

What it all comes down to is this: what is most important to me right now? For many months, my weight and health have been number one. Lately, I have allowed myself to fit other things in my life, and let my health slip, similar to my habits over the last ten years. This morning I set the alarm to go off before six. I wanted to spend some time in quiet reflection and probe the answer to that question. Instead, I hit snooze.

My youngest son asked me the other day if I was in a slump. He said I should do what David Ortiz does. Papi, if you’re reading this, what do you do?

I think he probably works harder. Or simplifies his thought process. I am guessing he doesn’t hit snooze. Perhaps I have made this too complicated, moving into mindfulness and assertiveness, when maybe it’s just simple math: calories in vs. calories expended.

I need to reestablish what my true north is, and make sure I am headed in that direction every day. It may not be a straight line to get there, but I must keep moving. Right now, I seem to be wandering aimlessly in the late afternoon darkness.

Frost happens

It was thirty one degrees this morning as I drove to work. Frost was visible on cars and lawns, and leaves fell from trees like…snow! It was as if all the leaves gave up at the same time, and accepted their fate together. Before sunrise I picked up the morning paper from the driveway, hoping none of the neighbors would see me in my plaid pajama pants. I stopped long enough to watch my breath, and to appreciate the freshness of the chilly air. It smelled the way air is supposed to smell, before the fog of schoolbuses and lawn service trucks clog the roads, and before the morning white collar commuters blast down the Trail at breakneck speed, only to sit, and read their Blackberries, in the daily stall of traffic on 195.

I have been going through a tough stretch, again. My total weight loss is a disappointing 26 pounds. But, it is what it is. Last evening, I was asked by my lovely wife of 20 years if I think I have “fallen off the wagon?” I answered “No”, but I know I need to amp up my commitments and actions. This has been a decent week for exercise: 4 of the last 5 days. Eating has been the same story: too many snacks, especially at night. The choices are healthy, but the calories are more than I need. Most of it is mindless. That is the area I am focusing on, and I am confident that if I practice and learn mindfulness, the weight will drop off.

I am seven months from my climb. Time to get serious. The holidays are coming, and typically, people gain weight at this time of year. I cannot allow that to happen to me. I pointed out to my lovely wife of 20 years that a platter of homemade brownies occupied the kitchen counter for several days last week, and I asked her to recommit support for me. I will do the same with my children.

Frost comes not only at this time of year, but to different aspects of our lives more often than we think. Growth temporarily ceases, but eventually regenerates when the conditions are right. Mindfulness is the condition that is lacking right now.

My Mother, Paul Newman, Dr. Seuss, and Kurt Vonnegut

When my quest began in January, I focused on accomplishing my weight loss goal by means of a) replacing the junk in my diet with healthy food, and b) making exercise a regular part of my life. By all measures I have succeeded, yet, the weight loss is slow, with long periods of little or no progress.

At times, my exercise routine has become stagnant. Other times, my schedule prevents me from daily exercise. Still, if you would have said to me a year ago that by mid-2008 I would be spinning, doing yoga, hiking, opting for stairs instead of elevators, and walking for several hours each week, I would not have believed you.

Even more significant are the changes I made in my diet. My last soda was over nine months ago, and I can count on my fingers and toes the number of beers I have had this year. I used to drink soda every day, and beer at least weekly. I haven’t had a store bought cookie (fig newtons, as my Mother used to tell me, are FRUIT…and thanks to Paul Newman, they are also organic) this year. I no longer eat white bread, and I only eat whole grain pasta. I eat berries several times a week. Even my late night snacks have changed. Sometimes I don’t have any, but most often I have a smaller portion of something healthy.

As many of you (all four of you?) know, I have a history of binge eating and crash dieting, and I know the failure of diets firsthand.

This year, I have learned the answers to many questions about why diets don’t work. I have changed, for example, what I eat, I have focused on when I eat and where (not in the car, not in certain restaurants, not in front of the tube, not with a fox or in a box or on a train or in the rain, – sorry, sudden Dr. Seuss attack), and although I haven’t solved it completely I am aware of why I eat (boredom, stress, fatigue).

The one area that I have not explored is how I eat, that is, at least until I began my quest for mindfulness. Now I am learning to be aware of my mindless eating habits, and redirecting them might be the solution to the weight loss problem for me. The more that I become aware of this aspect of my personality, the more mindless I realize I am. (You’ve all known this about me, but didn’t know how to tell me without hurting my feelings!)

I was thinking this week that mindfulness has its place in leadership as well. I run an important business, and a lot of people depend on that business being run properly. Leaders, I realize, have to be mindful of what is most important in their particular field, as the stressors that we all face cause our attention to be diverted from the core mission. Effective leaders have a way of keeping that mission in the forefront of the minds of all those associated with the cause. Through words and deeds, leaders communicate what is most important. Omission of what is most important also communicates the true priorities and motivations of a leader. Now I need to take my own advice.

I always think I know what to do, but I don’t always do it. I have trouble turning my intentions into actions. Why? I’m not sure. Fear of success? Fear of failure? Laziness? Overload from stress? Lately I have felt paralyzed by stress, like I am trying to do everything and accomplishing nothing. At those times, especially, the temptation to mindlessly eat, to seek comfort in food, is powerful.

Here’s how bad it gets sometimes: I have obtained some mindful meditation cd’s. Guess when I have time to listen to them? That’s right, in the car! They even come with a warning label, not to listen to them while driving, but, I haven’t found time to work this mindfulness practice into my life. So I am trying to be mindful, while MULTITASKING!

As the late great Kurt Vonnegut profoundly wrote, “so it goes…”

Writing from Nashville

85 degrees and sunny here in Nashville. I am attending a conference while across town at Belmont University they are preparing for the presidential debate tomorrow night.

I went for a quick swim in the hotel pool this a.m.

So far so good on meals and mindfulness.

Last week I didn’t do so well. It’s like I learned how much mindfulness could help, and then I became mindless. I am noticing how forgetful I have become. It is due to the multitasking going on in my brain. I can’t even remember what I sat down to write…

Child’s play

Remember the game 1 2 3 Redlight? Your friends would line up on one side of the yard or playground, and you would count to three with your back turned, while the others would scamper across to touch the wall or pole first. You would count out loud: “1 2 3 Redlight!”, and  all the kids would have to “freeze” immediately before you could turn around quickly enough to catch anyone still moving. If they were caught, they had to go back to the beginning.

I used to play this game for hours on end, mostly because there was only one other kid in my neighborhood, and he was pretty easy to catch.

This week, I have been playing that game again, this time by myself, in bed.

(I am just going to let you hang there for an uncomfortable moment or two…)

In my pursuit of mindfulness I have been practicing meditation. This requires shutting out all the distractions that cause stress, and focusing completely on the present moment. First thing in the morning, before my feet hit the floor, I begin my practice of mindfulness. So far so good. I can see the benefits for people who do this every day. I imagine it is almost like self hypnosis.

Interestingly, when I finish meditating, I open the floodgates of thoughts back into my mind. Then I say “1 2 3 Redlight!”, and freeze my mind and body to allow more self-examination.

In just a few seconds after finishing meditation, my posture has tensed, my jaw clenches, muscles in my neck and shoulders tighten, and I realize that I am not even aware of the impact of my thoughts on my health. They operate on auto-pilot all day long, making me more susceptible to illness and injury, and preventing me from just being me.

Last night my wife and I had dinner together at our kitchen table. I was able to maintain mindfulness, and stayed in the moment. I put my fork down between bites, and truly noticed tastes and textures. The result? I had the smallest portion I have had for some time. I stopped when I felt full, I didn’t eat quickly until I was uncomfortable. Lightbulbs went off for me. I got it.

This morning, my wife baked banana-oatmeal bread. It took forever. The smell drove me crazy. I had the Sunday paper spread in front of me, with steaming black coffee coming from my green Eden Alternative mug. I remember cutting a piece of the bread, but when my mindfulness returned just seconds later, I realized that I had ingested two pieces without thinking. I looked forward to eating the bread, but I never really got to enjoy it.

No wonder I am overweight. Imagine what a difference I can make if I learn to harness mindful eating.

Yesterday, at 2 in the morning, I got in from South Padre Island, Texas, where I attended a conference of Eden mentors and educators. My back pain decreased significantly during this trip. It may have been the Tempur-Pedic mattress in the hotel, or the bright sunshine and summer weather, or the tequila we enjoyed at night. But my gut tells me it was because I had a few days to unplug. I needed that.

I regret that I did not get up earlier to walk on the beach with my colleagues each morning. I was meditating then, but I should have made the effort to do both. I thought my back might make me uncomfortable, so I was taking it easy. I missed an opportunity to spend even more time with some of the nicest people on earth.

During one of the breaks from the conference, a few Eden folks wandered down to the beach and met a young couple building an elaborate sand castle. The couple shared that they were to be married that afternoon, right on the beach, and that neither had any friends or family to witness the event. Later, as they exchanged vows in front of a Justice of the Peace, they were surrounded by the entire group from the conference. The Eden folks  brought champagne, a cake, a gift, and a card with $100 cash. An older couple observed from nearby on their beach chairs. They told me that they had been married 45 years earlier, and had spent their wedding day in this same spot. We took photos of the the two couples together.

The next morning, the newlyweds stopped by the conference to say thank you and to exchange e-mail addresses with some new friends. This whole experience was amazing. These were random people from all over the country, whose lives intersected for a few, brief, touching moments.

This week I will continue to focus on being mindful. I am pleased that despite my back injury, and being away on business, I still lost two pounds. Don’t ask me how. I sure didn’t deny myself the chips and salsa. Maybe tequila is low in calories.

Learning from the past

I’ve been trying, for awhile, to cultivate mindfulness as a life skill. This will help me in a number of ways, like slowing down my eating and making me more aware of tastes, textures, feeling full, etc.

The book “Full Catastrophe Living” by Jon Kabat-Zinn suggests an exercise to develop mindfulness by taking 15 minutes per day and concentrating on nothing but one’s breathing. I have tried, and I can’t do it for even 1 minute without my brain racing to a thousand different things.

I suspect I am not alone in having difficulty in this regard. This says something about the speed of life, doesn’t it? The world is constantly hurling information at me, and I am trying to cull out what I think is necessary to accomplish whatever it is I am trying to do.

My mind is multi-tasking, and it has become a way of life. Lately, I had been thinking that multi-tasking must be the next step in the natural evolution of the brain. I came to this thought while observing one of my sons simultaneously do homework, watch television, listen to music, talk and/or text on his cell phone, and “IM” his peeps.

For me, I have to be multi-tasking or I feel under-productive. I don’t drive without at least a) drinking coffee and b) listening to the radio. I have lunch at work in front of my computer. I talk on the phone while responding to e-mail. Everything is faster. I read faster, sacrificing comprehension and enjoyment for speed, because there is so much information I want. My red light blinks indicating I have voice mail, my computer dings alerting me to a new e-mail, my Blackberry vibrates more than 75 times per day on average. And I have the automatic impulse to respond. After all, I wouldn’t want to keep someone waiting.

Sometimes I live by and for the expectations of others. I feel guilty when I can’t do it all. These emotions drive me. They increase my anxiety and stress.

I hurt my back this week, while exercising at the Y. I was there to relieve stress, and now I cannot walk without pain. My plan to climb halfway up Monadnock in October seems a longshot at best, although so far I have not added on any more pounds.

I work with Elders, and when it comes to slowing down life, and being aware of the present, Elders get it. I like to watch my father fix things, His pace seems painstakingly slow to me, as he gathers the tools he needs, and makes space on his cluttered workbench. The task at hand becomes all that matters in that moment, and his persistence and perseverance usually win the day. My approach is that if I can’t fix something immediately, I buy a new one.

The world has changed, but evolution, if plotted on a graph, would not be an ascending line. It would look more like the stock market. For all the books, tapes and seminars on living in the moment, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and increasing awareness, the best examples are still here on earth. We’re just too busy to notice.

Losing means winning

I’ve dropped four pounds since Friday. Yay me! I did it through hard exercise and no nighttime snacks. Now I’ve got to keep it going.

I have avoided talking politics on this blog, but I can no longer hold back. I am an independant voter, not affiliated with either party. Watching the Presidential race is amazing. I have witnessed heated debates at the dinner table, among friends and family. I am talking about people who grew up in the same ecomomic conditions, attended the same churches, have children in the same schools, in some cases even grew up in the same house! The differences of opinion are amazing! People are so polarized that they view one side as good and the other as evil.

Here are my thoughts on this political race:

• I can’t believe it, but lipstick has become an important issue in this campaign! I can only imagine each side is lining up now. On the left we have “Liberals Against Lipstick”, and on the right, “No Lipstick Left Behind”.
• If only my mother had lived long enough to see two Irish candidates running for President: McCain and O’Bama.
• I have heard political pundits say that McCain chose Palin to appeal to women voters. Most of the women I know are not that shallow to vote for a woman because she is a woman. Maybe the pundits are men.
• Most of the men I know, myself included, are shallow. Perhaps if Governor Palin would campaign in a bathing suit she would capture more of the male vote.
• Why is it that my conservative friends email propaganda to me almost every day, while my liberal friends rarely send anything? (Except George W Bush bloopers)

Okay readers! Have at it!!

Black coffee thoughts

Thoughts while drinking black coffee from my green Eden Alternative mug:

• I feel like I am close to turning this ship around. Sometimes I feel like I am the size of a boat. (Insert dinghy joke here)
• I know what I have been doing wrong: my stress level skyrocketed, which happens to everyone, but the thing that got bumped off the plate was my health. I reacted by eating emotionally, and did not make time for exercise. My strategy going forward is to plan better. The MOST IMPORTANT thing on my plate is my health. My stress is no different than most other people. It is related to A) work B) family C) finances. The best response for any of these items is to focus on my health. Without it, there will be no work, family, or finances.
• I have been disappointed that I am behind schedule on my weight loss goal. I set a goal of 5 pounds per month, which was achievable, I thought, given that most diets call for 2-2 1/2 pound losses per week. The difference is, I am not on a diet. And the REAL goal is not to lose 5 per month but to extend my life by several healthy years.
• Blog commenters Drew and Ann have stepped up and suggested social get togethers not focused on food. Drew and I took our youngest sons kayaking, and our families went for a 2-3 mile hike this past weekend. Thank you!
• Last night I did the 1 hour spinning class, and although I didn’t keep up with the group, I was proud of myself for hanging in and finishing strong.
• Several people at the Y have suggested I try water aerobics or other pool activities. I am reluctant because on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being Michael Phelps in his swimsuit and 10 being Shamu, I look like more like Shamu in a bathing suit, except I am not as agile.
• I was reading that when the body is stressed it slows down the metabolism to prevent weight loss. Our genes are designed to hold on to the fat we’ve stored in case of emergency.
• Sal: your comments inspired me. I am parking further away from doors, and taking the long way through corridors.
• Final though for today: why is it that I frequently find spiders in the shower? Is it because they have all those armpits? (legpits?)

The Battle of the Bulge

History buffs know that the Battle of the Bulge refers to a Nazi offensive in December of 1944 that caused the Allies’ line to “bulge”.

For me, and many other individuals with weight problems, we have our own bulge to battle.

On vacation, I gained back a couple of pounds. No big deal, I thought, everyone gains a little weight now and then. I returned to my normal exercise routine, but continued to eat as though I was on vacation, i.e., giving myself permission for a special meal here, an extra helping there. Then I hit a stressful couple of weeks that included longer hours at work, at a time when the YMCA was closed for repairs, and an increase in family-related (and food-oriented) occasions.

This morning I did something I have been putting off: I got on the scale. I am embarassed to say I have added 9 pounds in the last three weeks.

My response to this is to set another short term goal: to lose 14 pounds by October 20th. This means averaging a loss of 2 pounds per week (not impossible, but remember, I am not dieting). This will bring my total weight loss to 35 pounds (halfway there!) although I have now fallen behind schedule by a month.

To achieve this, I need to throw everything I have at the problem, the same way the Allies overwhelmed the Nazi attack in World War 2.

I have learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t, and I know what I need to do. I know I can’t promise that I will exercise everyday, but I will exercise as many days as possible, and extend those workouts to an hour whenever I can. I will be more disciplined regarding meal choices, portion control, and especially (my nemesis) late-night snacks. I just noticed that the word “emesis” is contained in “nemesis”. My brilliance makes you queasy, doesn’t it?

Also, I would like to make a day trip to Monadnock in late October/early November, to climb to the half-way sign. I would like to see how I do, how much, if any, I have left in the “tank”, and to help prepare mentally for the big climb next Spring.

I need your help. Please don’t let me fail!

I Love Lucy

We call the puppy “Lucy”, although her full name is “No, No! Stop that, Lucy!”

She and I are the first ones up in my house. Yesterday, at about 6:30, a flock of Canada Geese flew above the backyard, honking loudly, deliberately disobeying the noise ordinance in town. Lucy dove under my chair. Brave dog.

I decided I am not letting her watch the flying monkey scene in “The Wizard of Oz” until she is at least four.

I was walking through my neighborhood last week and I noticed a lot of neighbors have wooden signs on their lawns, picturing a dog doing a poop. (Coincidentally, the dog looks like my neighbor’s dog) On the sign it says “No!”. I thought “What if the dog can’t read?”

A couple of days ago, a flock of small blackbirds landed in the yard, showing no respect for Lucy, who was busy sniffing every blade of grass. She just sat there and watched them, never barked or gave chase. When they all took off she jumped. I don’t know if she was trying to fly away with them.

She enjoys sharing the newspaper with me in the morning. I give her the classifieds, and she just devours them.

I am hoping that she learns to chase squirrels like Jazz did. If it doesn’t start happening soon, does anyone know where I can get one of those subliminal recordings that we can play while she sleeps? You know the ones with the soothing voice that says things over and over. “Squirrels are bad. Very, very bad. They are nothing more than rats with big furry tails that can climb trees.” Supposedly, you can learn while you sleep.

I once bought a tape with the intention of learning Spanish while I slept. I bought it at a yard sale, and the label was torn off. I never did learn Spanish, but I woke up with the ability to cook an omelette. I suspect the tapes were switched.

Somewhere, someone is trying unsuccessfully to cook, speaking fluent Spanish.

I am stuck on thirty pounds. Exercise is good, averaging an hour a day, five days a week. Food is good too! Especially that pizza I had for lunch!

My pattern is I stay at the plateau, then suddenly drop 4-6 pounds. It will be nice to reach the halfway point in my journey.

Thanks for your ongoing support.

A green leaf

Sticking with the “Hungry Caterpillar” theme, if you know the story, the caterpillar eats a green leaf, and after that he feels much better. In other words, he eats a healthy meal, and feels an immediate positive change.

Here I am post-vacation, back into a routine of “green leaves” (exercise and healthy eating). Last night I cycled for 90 minutes and had my best day of healthy eating in several days.

Today I had a delicious salad for lunch, with Granny Smith apples, walnuts, and blue cheese on a bed of tomatoes, cucumbers, and lettuce. As I went to take a bite of tomato I noticed I was about to eat the part where the stem attaches. I grabbed a knife and trimmed the tomato. Then I thought: for years I have had diet soda with my lunch, which is filled with so many harmful chemicals, yet, I won’t eat the brown spot where the tomato stem was attached.

Unconsciously, I believed the tomato stem was “bad for me”, and diet soda was “good for me”. Think about how powerful and manipulative the advertising industry is, and the messages we buy into, and pass on to our children.

Better to follow the ways of the “Hungry Caterpillar”.

Blahgging in Bah Hahbah

Vacation is a wonderful thing. My family and I just returned from Maine, where we visited Acadia National Park, Baxter State Park, and Bar Harbor. We saw moose and whale (not together). My sons and I climbed Mount Cadillac, the largest mountain on the east coast. It felt good to challenge myself, and let me tell you, it truly was a challenge to drag my body up there. The mountain is just over 1500 feet, about half the size of Mount Monadnock, so it was a good test for me, being just shy of the half-way mark in my quest to lose weight and climb Monadnock when I turn 50 next year.

We chose the North Ridge Trail, 2.2 miles, and it took about an hour and 45 minutes to reach the summit. The weather was perfect for the climb, cool and dry. As we climbed I couldn’t help but think how reliant I was on my sons for support. Up until now, they have relied on me for everything, but here I was, asking my Eagle Scout to lead, while middle and youngest encouraged me, and made me forget how much my back hurt. As other hikers passed us on their way down, I kept assessing their weight versus mine. Clearly, I was the heaviest person on that trail, but it made me even more determined to prove to myself that I could do it.

After reaching the top, I felt very satisfied. In fact, maybe too satisfied, because during vacation I ate a lot of things I haven’t eaten all year. You know the book “The Hungry Caterpillar”? That was me. I ate three handfuls of M&M’s, a jelly doughnut, several sweet potato fries, a carrot muffin, and vanilla ice cream on homemade blueberry pie. I also drank six glasses of beer in seven days.

When I ordered the blueberry pie, after eating lobstah (I wanted the whole Maine food experience), the waiter said the pie “was to die for”. As I finished the last bite, my soon-to-be-eleven year old asked: “Well, Dad, was it really to die for?” How profound. Is the food we eat really so irresistable, so worth cutting our lives short so that we should over-indulge? The answer is obviously “No”. The decisions are within our control.

I gained 2 pounds on vacation. Today I will get right back on track. Reaching the top of Mount Monadnock? That is irresistable.

Whatever it takes

I have read a number of articles lately forwarded by people like you who are supporting my change to a healthy lifestyle. Within the articles have been some common themes. First, among people who have successfully lost weight and kept it off there is one and only one common denominator: they all exercise regularly. In fact, the most successful exercise for an hour a day.

Well, fellow blogaphiles, if that is what it takes, sign me up, because I am determined to do this right and make it permanent.

An hour a day can be broken up into smaller chunks and it can contain a variety of intentional exercise activities. We are all programmed to think about exercise in terms of efficiency, as in, “I have this much time, this is all I will do”. But if physical activity, like eating right, is part of a healthy lifestyle, isn’t there a better approach? We would never think to eat all our daily calories at one sitting, but that would save us time, energy, and money, right? It would help support that maximum efficiency lifestyle. We don’t do it that way because it is not natural. So what is the natural way to exercise? In the old days, back when doctors drove Buicks, people didn’t have sedentary jobs or plasma tv’s waiting for them at home. We walked to school, rode bikes to Little League games, and played Red Rover at the playground (assuming the dinosaurs were not hogging the playground). Today, we approach exercise as if it is a task to be performed, to be checked off the list, to get it over with. At the Y, we all line up in a row on treadmills and elipticals, with our Ipods clipped to our t-shirts, and we walk, run, or ski like zombies who don’t know each other. But we’re efficient!

The healthiest people in one of these articles had hobbies that made them physically active (biking, swimming, running). My guess is that their televisions are not on as much as mine.

Whatever it takes, I will do.

The other concept I have been reading about involves mindfulness. Studies show that only about 5% of the time we are using our conscious brain, and 95% of the time we are on autopilot (subconscious or unconscious). I am overweight because I switch to autopilot the moment food is in front of me. I like the crunch, I like the saltiness, but I am not aware of the portion or the nutritional value. I am not even aware of my hunger. (I am better now, than I have been in several years, but I still have a long way to go).

Developing mindfulness, then, is a key to my success. To that end, I bought “Full Catastrophe Living”, a highly recommended book on how to acquire this skill. The author, Robert (something)-Zinn, is better known for “Wherever You Go, There You Are”. Have any of you (and I am speaking to all three of my readers) read this book?

I will let you know how it goes…