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I am writing thank you notes to all who contributed money to the Eden Fund. Checks are still arriving, but we are close to $5500!
I also want to thank all of you who wrote comments of encouragement on my blog, especially Karol, Ann, and Bob, who wrote nearly as many comments as I wrote posts! Your words were encouraging, motivating, and funny!
To my fellow hikers: Adam, Jacob, Caleb, and David, thank you so much. I don’t know if I could have made it without David, who climbed Monadnock for the fourteenth time.
To my sons, Matt, Ben, and Tim, I am thankful that you stayed with me the whole time on the way up. I know you could have climbed much faster, but you knew this was my goal, and that I wanted to share it with you. I know you’ll always remember the day you climbed Mount Monadnock with your dad. I hope you get to climb with your children when you are fifty years old. And I hope when you are seventy-five you tell your grandchildren that you once climbed it with their great grandfather. That would be cool.
On the morning of the climb, I awoke at 4:50 a.m. The adrenaline was already pumping. I thought about getting up and doing pushups or something, but I laid there and tried to get more sleep. My youngest son was in the next bed, and I looked at him and thought about how just before we went to sleep he told me how proud he was of me. That made me feel good.
After a half hour, I dozed briefly, and dreamed that the neighbors near the nursing home painted graffiti on my office windows that said “No more KFC”, because apparently I had bought KFC for the staff and they littered the neighborhood with wrappers and buckets. I’m no psychologist, but dreaming of fried chicken while trying to lose weight doesn’t need much interpretation.
Before we checked out of the hotel, Tim led me in some leg stretches that he had learned in gym class. I was impressed.
We met the older boys at the entrance to the mountain road. They had started driving at 6 a.m., and arrived at the same time. We started our climb at 9:15, heading up the White Dot trail, the 1.9 mile, most direct route to the top. About 15 minutes into the hike I began to wonder why I wanted to do it. My heart was beating hard and I was really exerting myself. After a quick break I began to get acclimated, and David was doing a great job of encouraging me to go at my own pace. As we reached the first clearing we took time to admire the view and to appreciate what a beautiful day we had for the climb.
There are a few steep areas that are all rock, and you need to use your hands, so it is not just simply walking uphill. As we got closer to the top I was feeling more energized, although I had to take a break about 15 minutes from the summit. In retrospect, I don’t think I had been drinking enough water to that point, and I had not had a snack (not counting the four black flies that flew into my mouth). After a long drink and some protein we tackled the last leg to the top.
It amazed me how well I could remember different parts of the trail from my aborted attempt 6 years earlier. I recognized the point where I told the other climbers to go on, that I had decided to go back, and then I continued, by myself, to what is called the “adult summit” or “false summit”.
This time, there would be no turning back. Between my sons and my sherpa, there was a lot of positive encouragement, and I knew I was in much better condition, aerobically and physically, than on my first attempt. I thought of all those who had contributed money to the Elmhurst Eden Fund, and those who said they had been inspired by my effort and were attempting to lose weight. I also thought of the Elders who had promised to say a prayer for me.
The summit was very windy. When we started our climb it was 51 degrees. The top, we were told by a ranger, was 35. I had to put my hat away because of the wind, and we all put fleeces or sweatshirts on within minutes of arriving there. The view was fantastic, although we saw some ominous clouds in the distance. We were 3165 feet up.
We took some photos, and then found shelter behind some large rocks, where we ate our peanut butter sandwiches and stretched out before heading back down. I texted my friend Jeff Mason in Columbia, South America, who had been one of the first people to encourage my healthy lifestyle, and shared with me that I would be climbing on his birthday. “Happy Birthday from the top of Monadnock!” I wrote. Then, I sent a group email to the staff of Elmhurst. I called my wife, who was equally shocked that I had phone service at the summit, and that we were already at the top at noon.
In some ways I regret not going back to stand on the top a second time, but we were concerned about the clouds, and I sensed that everyone wanted to push on. I also didn’t have the presence of mind to have a photo taken with all three boys at the summit.
I had this sense of melancholy, that I was there for perhaps the one and only time in my life. I don’t know why I felt that, but I did. So, we started back down, choosing the White Cross trail, which is 2.1 miles, and, allegedly, is the least steep descent. If going up was a challenge for my heart and lungs, going down was tougher for my lower back and knees. We were making good time, but only because gravity was pulling us. By the time we were halfway down, each step was becoming painful, as all of my weight was crashing down on my lower limbs. With a rock surface, there is no “give”, nothing to absorb that force other than your body, and I was getting tired.
There was a husband and wife, older than me, who were on the same trails at about the same time. They argued loudly, as the wife attempted to advise the husband which way he should climb, and the husband would snarl at her and tell her he knew what he was doing, The kids nicknamed him “Reckless Joe” because he just kept coming, whenever we turned around he was there.
On the way up we encountered a number of climbers who were coming back down and would encourage us by saying “Almost there!”, “The hardest part is over”, so we did the same thing to others, especially those who wore facial expressions of fatigue or exasperation.
Near the bottom we began to feel raindrops. Now, the end of the trail couldn’t come fast enough. I thought about the end of the Rocky movie, where Apollo Creed tells Rocky that there won’t be a rematch. I felt the same way at that moment about Monadnock. It beat me once, but now we were even.
We reached the parking lot, and I went into the park store to buy a hat that said “I climbed Mount Monadnock”. A ranger was on the radio announcing that a band of severe weather was going to force the closure of the summit. Just then it started to thunder, and pour. I was thankful that we were done. Had I been 100 yards from the top when they closed the summit, I think I would have continued, and it would have taken several rangers with tranquilizer darts to take me down.
The drive home seemed to take forever, but we actually made great time. Kirsten had balloons tied to the lampost in our driveway, and had invited friends over for drinks and food. Since it was a school night, everyone had to leave on the earlier side, but I could have celebrated all night. This goal, that I announced on January 1, 2008, had been achieved, thanks to so many people, who supported me and would not let me fail.
It has now been four days since Monadnock, and the soreness has finally left my legs. I exercised this morning, and probably will go to the Y tonight. Several people have asked “what’s next?” and I find myself asking the same thing. I know I need to set another goal soon. It will involve more weight loss and a physical challenge, but it will not be a fundraiser, and there probably won’t be a blog involved.
I believe, however, that I will stand on the summit of Monadnock again. The feeling of achievement, and attaining that goal, has overshadowed the pain in my knees and back.
So if you’re interest in going for a hike with me sometime…
Good rock to rest on
Not an easy climb
This way down
I took this photo. It's the marker at the mountaintop.
All of us at the summit
The boys are balancing on the wind
Tim being blown away
Ben
view of the summit
the top
my three sons
My butt
The drummer
My Sherpa and me
Matt and the toad (which is which?)
We reached the summit of Mount Monadnock at 11:45 this morning. It was a challenging climb, but a fantastic day. Thank you to everyone for your support. Pictures to follow!
It is Friday afternoon and we are very close to $4500 in donations! Your generosity is exceeding my expectations.
I am very excited to climb, and I am anxiously looking forward to Sunday morning. My biggest fear is that my oldest son will twist an ankle or develop blisters on the climb which will make it difficult for him to train for next week’s State Track Championships. He has qualified for three events, and I would hate to be the cause of anything less than his absolute best performance.
This week, in the comic strip Dilbert, there was a character who was bragging about his leg strength and he said something like “My thighs are so strong I am afraid to jump rope when the sun is shining.” I don’t know what that means, but I think it’s hilarious. That character is ready to climb a mountain. Me, too, although I will not be jumping rope anytime soon.
This morning I was a guest on the John DePetro Show on radio WPRO a.m. here in RI. John allowed me to give a plug for the Eden Fund and talk about the Monadnock climb. He said he will have me back on Monday morning at 7:30 as a follow up to see how the hike went.
Thank you all for your support. Because of you, I won’t fail.
The very lovely and personable Barbara Morse-Silva, NBC10’s Healthcheck reporter, just left my office after completing a follow up interview regarding my Monadnock climb.
The interview will air tonight at 5:30., and shortly thereafter, like the other times when she has featured this story, my blog readership will spike up dramatically!
So, I want to take this opportunity to invite you all to DONATE money to The Eden Fund at Elmhurst Extended Care. The Eden Fund was established when Elmhurst first adopted the Eden Alternative philosophy of Eldercare several years ago, and it pays for programs and resources that enhance the quality of life of the Elders in the Elmhurst Extended Care community.
Nursing homes have been hit hard by recent cuts in Medicaid funding, and Elmhurst is one of several not-for-profit nursing homes that was hit especially hard. We rely on the kindness and generosity of people like you to help us provide for the Elders in a way that they deserve.
There are several ways to donate:
Please send checks made out to “The Eden Fund” to the Development Office, Elmhurst Extended Care, 50 Maude St Providence, RI 02908, or you can go to www.rwmc.org, click on “Ways of giving” and then click on ”click here to donate online”. Please specify that this gift is for the ”Elmhurst climb fundraiser”.
As of this morning, we have raised nearly $3000, and the Elders are very excited.
It’s never too late to adopt a healthy lifestyle, and it’s never too late to make a tax-deductible donation to the Eden Fund! Thank you so much!
Besides gaining an appreciation for the value of community, there are many other life lessons that this journey has revealed:
1. If you deny yourself food, you’ll eventually overeat.
2. When it comes to healthy eating and healthy living, there are no shortcuts.
3. When intentions become actions, success follows.
4. Be mindful of what you eat, but also be mindful while you eat.
5. Some of the best workouts happen when you don’t feel like exercising.
6. If you don’t stick with the journey, you’ll never reach the destination.
7. The word “recreation” has “eat” in the middle of it. (Have you ever looked around at other people at a ballgame or in the movie theater? When did mindless eating become normal behavior?)
8. Exercise doesn’t take time, exercise makes time. (Not only will you live longer, but you’ll have more energy!)
9. Healthy doesn’t just happen. You have to make it a priority.
It is too easy to go through stretches of life flying beneath the radar. We live in a society that doesn’t encourage or foster relationships. Many of us know our neighbors names, but little else about the people we share a community with. We know what our co-workers do, but we don’t really know who they are.
Reclaiming my health and preparing to climb Monadnock has taught me a lot about the importance of community. In the past, my weight loss efforts would be secretive, perhaps only my wife would be in on it. This time I announced my intentions to my friends, family, co-workers and colleagues, and I asked them to play a role in helping to achieve my goal. Everyone, from the Elders at work to people I don’t even know who e-mailed me after reading this blog, has had a hand in this effort. Without community, I would have failed, again. I urge you, whatever your goals, challenges, aspirations, and struggles may be, lean on others. There are many who will share your burden, who want to help others along life’s journey. Community will surprise you.
I have a t-shirt with my blog address emblazened across the front and a picture of me standing atop Mount Monadnock (designed by Patrick Halladay) on the back. I often wear it when I work out. It occurred to me that more people have read my t-shirt than my blog, but according to my blog stats, 3,830 people, besides me, have clicked onto dontletmefail!
We are also getting close to $2000 in donations to the Eden Fund, which is especially gratifying.
The forecast for Sunday’s climb is 71 degrees, partly cloudy, with 0% chance of precipitation. We are all systems go.
On Sunday I set the treadmill on 20 and walked for 2.5 miles, then I set the Arc Strider on 10 for another 15 minutes. Then I lifted weights. I think I am ready.
Besides my sons, I will be accompanied on Monadnock by my friend David, who will be playing the part of Tenzing Norguay. (Norguay was the Sherpa who accompanied Sir Edmund Hillary to the top of Everest) David has climbed Monadnock many times, and will urge me on, no doubt with the fervor of Bundini Brown during the Ali-Frazier fights. Should be interesting…
People have been asking, what will become of the blog once the climb is done? I will probably add one or two messages, postscript, but I will retire the blog and move onto other things. I have been considering some ghostwriting, but I will start small, with, say, grocery lists, and move up.
When you are young you don’t think about your health. You just assume, if you’re healthy, you will always be that way. At 50, I no longer take my health for granted, and I am willing to work at it.
Some people get to eat anything they want and never have to worry. I am not one of those people, but I have learned to accept that some people are just LUCKY BASTARDS! As you can tell, I’m not the least bit bitter.
My dog Lucy eats a lot of things that are not good for her. Last week she ate my Maui Jim sunglasses. Not only are they made of potentially toxic materials that could have killed her, but I could have killed her as well, except that she is so cute. Cute is an underestimated factor in the laws of natural selection. Cute is the precise reason my children are still alive, because there have been times…
…so I am conducting a kind of scientific experiment: I bought a new pair of Ray Bans, and a $10 pair of sunglasses on the same weekend. Which one do you suppose will last longer?
At age 50 there are many ways to monitor one’s health. One way is to have a “colonoscopy”. A colonoscopy is a proactive test to screen for colon cancer. The name colonoscopy comes from the Greek words “colon” meaning “colon”, and “oscopy” meaning “50 foot hose with a camera attached to the end”.
Ironically enough, there is a baseball player named Bartolo Colon, who pronounces his last name ”cologne”. However, if you didn’t know the pronunciation you might have been confused or even offended by the headline that appeared in a local sports page after Bartolo pitched well: “Blue Jays Batters Get A Whiff of Colon”. That’s right up there with classics like “Bird Injures Knee, Celtics Crush Nuggets”.
But getting back to monitoring one’s health, I had a colonoscopy yesterday. (Fifty is fun!) The procedure went well, but I got into a little spat with a nurse at the Colonoscopy Center, because she was the fifth employee of the morning to ask if I was there for a colonoscopy. Apparently, because of the high number of wrong side surgeries at a nearby major hospital, precautions have been taken to assure that no errors are made for any medical procedure. One safety measure is for every employee of every medical office to ask patients to verify the name of the procedure for which they are scheduled. The first four times I thought it was cute. (Again, cute!) The fifth time, however, when the nurse asked me if I knew why I was at the Colonoscopy Center, I replied sharply, like a man with an eating disorder that has not had solid food in 24 hours: “I’m here to get my teeth cleaned!” To say that I got “reamed” would not be inaccurate, because that really is the definition of a colonoscopy. Whatever happened, I was under heavy sedation.
As of today, nearly $1000. in checks have come in to the Eden Fund, and hundreds more have been pledged. Altogether it adds up to $1390. It is a great start.
When my wife participated in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Chicago last year, she raised $2500, so I am hopeful to get close to that amount.
My wife walked 27 miles in two days, but none of it was uphill, and she weighs much less than me, so, by comparison, my physical challenge will be greater. I can see that look of skepticism, so let’s put it another way: which one of us would be more likely to (medical term alert) croak in the middle of the challenge, my wife while walking on the streets of Chicago surrounded by thousands of fellow walkers, or me, hanging by my fingertips on a granite precipice of Monadnock, surrounded by my sons and a couple of non-CPR certified friends?
In other words, this challenge is certainly worthy of your money. And, if NBC10 ends up making the climb with me, as they initially indicated, think of the possible story lines: “Large man collapses while making an ill-advised mountain climb for charity, film at eleven.”
Oh the humanity!
I wake up in the morning, and one of my first thoughts is climbing Mount Monadnock. When I work out at the gym, I visualize myself reaching the summit. I look at the calendar and count the days. I wonder what it will feel like the day before, the night before, the morning of…
It is in many ways an obsession. Sometimes panic creeps in: what if my legs turn to mush halfway up? Wouldn’t it be the ultimate embarassment if I failed with so many people watching? These are the thoughts that float through my mind, and although I know the value of positive visualization and self-talk, sometimes anxiety gets the better of me. That is where humor comes in, so, today’s blog features conversations that I imagine having with my sons during the climb:
30 minutes in to the climb: “I shouldn’t have had that second cup of coffee before we started. You boys cover for me while I duck behind this pine tree”.
45 minutes into the climb: “How about if we quit now, you tell your mother that we made it to the top, but instead I’ll take you all for ice cream?”
60 minutes into the climb: “How about if we quit now, you tell mom we made it, and I will take you all to a Red Sox game?”
90 minutes in: “Not even for a Red Sox-Yankees game?”
2 hours in: “How about Disney? We’ll drive straight to Logan airport right now, for cryin’ out loud, and we’ll be on Space Mountain in 5 hours?”
2 hours, 15 minutes: “I can’t believe you would put your old man through this, you rotten ungrateful children!”
2 hours, 30 minutes: “@#(*!&#%/^~!!!!”
3 hours: Refusing to talk to sons
At the summit: “Okay, I made it! Which one of you will carry me back down?”
Halfway down: “They should put in a @*%# elevator!”
Back at base lodge: “I never doubted my ability to reach the top!.”
These words are as familiar to Kentucky Derby fans as the gawdy hats and mint juleps. This year, a 50 to 1 shot, Mine That Bird, came out of the back of the pack to win the race. Now, I must do the same thing, in the next 27 days, as I race to lose weight before I climb Mount Monadnock. Fortunately, I will not have a whip-toting former member of the Lollipop Guild on my back.
So I am postponing some of my favorite treats until after May 31, while fully cognizant that denying food to oneself is the main reason diets don’t work.
The mistake I cannot make, and you have to help me avoid, is to think of the 31st as the end of my effort. I don’t think this will happen because this has not been a diet but a lifestyle change, and it has been gradual.
I will be setting another physical goal after Monadnock.
This past weekend Kirsten and I took Lucy for a short hike, foregoing the sidewalks of suburbia for the local bird sanctuary. We knew we would have to check for ticks, but we were confident that her tick collar would have some impact. Kirsten pulled at least 8 ticks off during our drive home. Then we found over 40 more. Incredible! Lucy weighs 18 pounds! If you saw my post on Facebook you know that my sons put the ticks in a ziploc bag and put it in the microwave. They said it sounded like popcorn.
Still, not all the ticks were dead, so boys being boys, the gas can was retrieved from the shed and a “tick flambe” was soon cooking in the backyard.
My future rocket scientists also captured the moment on video, for possible diplay on YouTube.
And speaking of YouTube posts…check out “Hello Oprah” by my friend Bill Thomas. Bill is an internationally renowned expert on aging, and he has come oh so close to appearing on Oprah over the years, but his book sales are reflective of America’s disinterest in elderhood. This time, Oprah’s producers suggested he post a YouTube plea to get on her show. If the video is watched by a wide audience, Oprah’s staff will consider having him as a guest on the show. Bill is the founder of the Eden Alternative philosophy and the Greenhouse model of eldercare. Please watch, comment and share!
Regarding the actual number of ticks, I may have miscounted by one. I blame this on my failing eyesight. I apparently removed something that I thought was tick. Coincidentally, Lucy has one less nipple today.
Add Kirstie Alley to the list of those who have lost weight only to put it back on over time. Kirstie is the latest to bite the dust, although I suspect she’s been biting more than dust, because dust is low in calories.
Kirstie was the spokesperson for Jenny Craig Weight Loss , and this shows how difficult it is to keep weight off: Kirstie was being paid to stay thinner and couldn’t do it.
Ninety-eight percent of the time, diets fail. Yet, we continue to try because we need to lose weight and we don’t know another way.
I am awfully tempted, in the last 30 days before I climb Mount Monadnock, to go on a diet of some sort, to save face by losing belly, in order to be able to announce that I am much closer to the seventy pound weight loss goal I set for myself last year. Yet, the fact that I have lost 30 and kept 30 off is, in and of itself, reason to celebrate success. I have not ingested any diet shakes, or counted points, or given up starches, or denied myself anything, except to make lifestyle changes that will continue long after I come down from the summit of Monadnock later this month.
I have been where Kirstie Alley is right now. When she speaks of her humiliation, I know how she feels, even though I have never gone public about weight loss until the past 16 months. But I know the uncomfortable, self-conscious, defeatist, self-hatred that a heavy person lives with all too well.
I am going to set some short term goals, and push hard to lose additional weight before the climb. It will make it much easier on my body if I am carrying fewer pounds. But I will not shortcut the process. Whatever happens, happens. I have moved beyond where Kirstie is now. I am ready to climb, and then to keep going.
Just when I had announced to the world, as if the world cared, that I would be climbing Mount Monadnock on May 23rd, my oldest son informed me that he has a very important track meet that day. So, barring any unforseen disasters like the Swine Flu, we are rescheduling for Sunday, May 31.
This past weekend I hiked in the Blue Hills with my youngest son and his Boy Scout Troop. We covered 3.5 miles including 4 steep hills. My son carried a full backpack with sleeping bag, cook stove, ground pad, tent, food and water, which meant he couldn’t also carry me despite my repeated requests. So I had to manage on my own. Kids today. So much for respecting one’s elders.
Overall, I felt great. I had no problems with hiking boots or back pain, so I am feeling confident with just over a month to go. The biggest problem for me was the heat, as it hit the mid-eighties in the afternoon. Depending on the forecast May 31, I may have to start very early to avoid the mid-day temperatures.
Later this week I will be getting a notice out to virtually every person I know asking for sponsorship for this hike, so that I have the added incentive of losing more weight and helping to raise money for the nursing home. Besides, there’s nothing like more pressure! There’s not enough of that going around these days!
For someone who usually has a lot to say, I have had difficulty lately writing anything worthy enough of my esteemed readership’s attention. (And I’m referring to both of you) So, I guess I’ll just sit here and force it out. (Insert grunting noises here)
I am in a mindset right now that understands what I need to do to get ready for the climb. The state of being “ready”, as a trusted advisor recently reminded me, is an interesting concept when it is applied to making changes in one’s life. When we are “ready”, the difficult can be easier. When we’re not “ready”, we will constantly make excuses for why change is too difficult at this time. The looming deadline will motivate me to be ready.
I just hope my back is ready on May 23rd. The past two Saturdays I have injured it doing odd jobs around the house. I call them “odd jobs” because if you have ever seen something after I have “fixed ” it, or painted it, or built it, you would say it’s odd.
“How come it still doesn’t work?” my wife will ask, “It works”, I insist, “but now there’s a trick to it”. Picture a broken dishwasher being repaired by someone who is part magician and part medicine man. I shake rattles at it, cast a few spells, wave a magic wand, say “presto!”, rinse and repeat.
I am still shooting for a weight loss goal of 40 pounds by May 23rd. The hunger strike starts May 10th.
But seriously, ladies and germs, I was just thinking about how far my diet has come, fresh produce instead of fast food, whole grains instead of donut holes, wheat pasta instead of paste. (Yes, I ate paste in Pre-Primary)
So there is my blog. The satellite has been launched. I feel better, even lighter. Check it out before I flush.
The finish line is in sight. On Saturday, May 23rd, I will climb Mount Monadnock. If there is a weather or health issue, it will be the following weekend, Saturday, May 30th.
I have chosen the White Dot Trail for the way up, and the White Cross Trail for the way down. These represent the most direct routes, and are rated 3 out of 5 in terms of difficulty. I estimate it will take about 3 hours to go up and 2 to come down (I roll pretty fast).
Anyone who wishes to accompany my sons and me can join us, however, I am planning to stay up there the night before so that I can get an early start. If you want to join us but can’t go up the night before, I suggest you get on the road early in the morning. I hope to start climbing at about 8:30. Even if you can’t get there by then, you can probably catch us on the trail, as I won’t be setting any time records that day.
In the remaining 45 days before the climb I will concentrate on two things: Training as much as possible, as every pound I lose will make it easier on my back and knees, and raising funds for Eden at Elmhurst.
When I started this journey I suggested people could donate one of two ways: pledge an amount assuming I can reach the top of the mountain, or pledge an amount based on how many pounds I lost. Right now, those who pledged based on my weight are getting more of a bargain, as I continue to hover around the thirty pounds lost mark. I would love to get to forty by the climb, but I will not reach the seventy that I once set as a goal.
I feel very optimistic about reaching the top. My legs are stronger than they have been in years, and I am training to increase my endurance. That said, it will be a challenge, and it will not end for me that day. The changes I have made in my lifestyle are permanent, and I am still counting on my friends and family to keep me on the path to good health long after I complete this climb.
These days I have more questions than answers regarding my weight loss. In the big picture, I am wondering where I am as a result of the myriad of changes I have made in eating, exercise, and lifestyle. How strong is my commitment? Will these changes last a lifetime? Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?
I take one step forward and one step back. I am in neutral. I was away on business last week, and started off very well, exercising three of the five days, and making healthy eating choices. I ended on a very bad note, however, as I waited in Newark airport for a delayed flight home, and chose a cheeseburger and fries (first fries in 15 months) at 9 pm to pacify a physical and emotional need for food.
My main problem continues to be mindless snacking, where in the span of a minute or two (like during a commercial break) I ingest a few hundred calories. This occurs when I walk in the door after coming home from work, and again around 9 as I claim my food reward for making it through another day. I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t do this, and I know every strategy to avoid this pitfall, but I continue to make the same mistake every day. For some people, this must sound like such a simple thing to fix.
I have heard of people who are so depressed they cannot get out of bed in the morning. To me, the answer for their problem is simple: get up! To them, it is nearly impossible. The answer to my problem is also simple: stop mindless snacking! To me, and many other overweight individuals, it would be easier to ride the proverbial camel through the eye of a needle.
I have been working with a terrific trainer, who assures me based on my strength and endurance that I am ready to climb Monadnock. Indeed, I feel stronger than I was this summer when I climbed Cadillac in Maine. But the point is not just to climb, but to lose weight in preparation. I am about 6-8 weeks out right now, and one step forward one step back is no way to climb a mountain.
Occasionally I have found myself on the treadmill at the Y on Sundays at Gary Cooper Time (High Noon). At the Y, no one speaks. We all wear IPODs and ear-buds (or ear-acquaintances, if you prefer), and we exercise, side by each, on Medeival torture devices while staring at three muted televisions on the wall.
It was on one such Sunday that I watched a show called “State of the Union” on CNN. In this broadcast, the host was visiting a diner somewhere in the midwest to talk with ordinary Americans about the economy. I know this because I read the closed captioning, while listening to my IPOD, while exercising, while ignoring my fellow man. (Sidebar: Isn’t “fellow man” like “free gift”? , i.e., redundant words that say the same thing? I think it’s called a pleonasm.)
Anyhoo, the host sat down in a booth with four big guys who had just been served their breakfasts, and asked these otherwise ordinary Americans, who wore cammoflauged clothing, (I am not sure who or what they were hiding from, but it didn’t work. They were clearly visible.) questions about the bailout and the stimulus. These otherwise ordinary Americans took turns providing thoughtful answers, except for one guy, who just stared out from under the brim of his bright orange cap at the flapjacks on his plate. None of the ordinary guys took a bite of their food during the interview, as they knew they were on national television. They remained engaged with the host, eager to share their thoughts with America.
But I kept focusing on the guy who never took his eyes off his breakfast. It was like witnessing Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in action: until his need for hunger was satisfied, he had no intention of affiliating with others in their views on the economy. On one level, I could completely relate to this guy, when there is hot food in front of me, don’t interrupt. But I also glanced at the closed captioning, wondering if it could read his thought process, which I imagined would go like this…”Boy, these pancakes sure look good! I hope this bozo from the tv show will leave us alone so we can eat…I worked up an awful appetite hunting this morning. Come on, they’re getting cold! You want to know my thoughts about the stimulus package? How about I give your package a stimulus with my size twelve boot? Then you’ll need a bailout!”
Besides entertaining myself, this line of thought helps break the monotony of treadmill time. Whatever it takes, I guess.
- I am surprised my last post didn’t generate more hate mail from the NEA
- In the last two days I have walked 7 miles on the treadmill on “Hills” level 10. That is a little like climbing Mount Monadnock on back-to-back days. And my back is okay.
- Speaking of Monadnock, I am looking for volunteers for day trips to climb partway up as practice runs. We would do this when the weather breaks, probably on one of those rare Sundays when we skip church.
- Speaking of church…if I get on my scale at home and it says “ERR” three times in a row, I assume it is God’s way of telling me “You don’t want to know what you weigh right now”. So, I don’t know what I weigh right now.
- If I were a Scientologist, would I believe it was L. Ron Hubbard telling me “You don’t want to know what you weigh right now”?
- I could never be a Scientologist. I got a C- in Biology and I never took Chemistry.
- But if I were a Scientologist, would it be considered a swear if I said “LRonHubbarddammit!”?
- I lost 10% of my body weight in 2008, and it has stayed off. Could I lose another 10% this year?
- If not, perhaps my new goal should be to become the largest person ever to climb Monadnock.
- I exercised for three weeks in a row, everyday, and then hit a wall. I took two days off last week, then got right back at it.
- I will be fifty years old in a few days, and I am humbled by that. Fifty years is a long time. I don’t feel fifty. I still think of myself as young, but not as stupid, with a lot more aches and pains. I am extremely thankful for my fifty years, especially when I think of the relationships I have with family and friends. I am also fortunate to do the work that I do. And I am respectful that many people don’t make it to fifty. I have been lucky.
- I just found out that local television stations have switched their signal from analog to digital. Boy, you would think for something as important as that, they would give us some notice, like, say, run Public Service Announcements every fifteen minutes for several months leading up to the change, or have an announcement continuosly scroll across the screen while one is watching one’s favorite shows (“Lost” and “24″, by the way), or have a panel of local “experts” that you can call, toll free, with questions, or publish articles in every news outlet known in the free world, until people go numb from hearing the same thing over and over, or maybe even have the government spend millions of dollars for converter boxes for tax-paying citizens. But to do it with no notice or fanfare? That’s un-American.
- I read recently that your waist should equal half of your height. All this time I thought I was overweight, I’m just too short!
- I only eat healthy food now, although I still eat too much. That means it costs me seven times as much to binge!
- Maybe the NEA gave me a pass on my last post. Will Scientologists do the same?
- What about Scientologists who belong to the NEA?
- How about Scientologists who are members of the NEA, who have analog televisions?
