Occasionally I have found myself on the treadmill at the Y on Sundays at Gary Cooper Time (High Noon). At the Y, no one speaks. We all wear IPODs and ear-buds (or ear-acquaintances, if you prefer), and we exercise,  side by each, on Medeival torture devices while staring at three muted televisions on the wall.

It was on one such Sunday that I watched a show called “State of the Union” on CNN. In this broadcast, the host was visiting a diner somewhere in the midwest to talk with ordinary Americans about the economy. I know this because I read the closed captioning, while listening to my IPOD, while exercising, while ignoring my fellow man. (Sidebar: Isn’t “fellow man” like “free gift”? , i.e., redundant words that say the same thing? I think it’s called a pleonasm.)

Anyhoo, the host sat down in a booth with four big guys who had just been served their breakfasts, and asked these otherwise ordinary Americans, who wore cammoflauged clothing,  (I am not sure who or what they were hiding from, but it didn’t work. They were clearly visible.)  questions about the bailout and the stimulus. These otherwise ordinary Americans took turns providing thoughtful answers, except for one guy, who just stared out from under the brim of his bright orange cap at the flapjacks on his plate. None of the ordinary guys took a bite of their food during the interview, as they knew they were on national television. They remained engaged with the host, eager to share their thoughts with America.

But I kept focusing on the guy who never took his eyes off his breakfast. It was like witnessing Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in action: until his need for hunger was satisfied, he had no intention of affiliating with others in their views on the economy. On one level, I could completely relate to this guy, when there is hot food in front of me, don’t interrupt. But I also glanced at the closed captioning, wondering if it could read his thought process, which I imagined would go like this…”Boy, these pancakes sure look good! I hope this bozo from the tv show will leave us alone so we can eat…I worked up an awful appetite hunting this morning. Come on, they’re getting cold! You want to know my thoughts about the stimulus package? How about I give your package a stimulus with my size twelve boot? Then you’ll need a bailout!”

Besides entertaining myself, this line of thought helps break the monotony of treadmill time. Whatever it takes, I guess.