In fourteen months I will turn fifty. For several years, it has been my goal to climb Mount Monadnock, in New Hampshire, when I am fifty. I tried climbing it once before, about five years ago. I was ill-prepared and out of shape. I made it about three quarters of the way before turning back. Since then I have gained about thirty pounds.

I estimate that I need to shed seventy pounds before I am ready to make the climb. I have had a weight problem for ten years. I was diagnosed as having Graves Disease, a thyroid disorder, and had radioactive treatment to destroy my thyroid. At that point I became hypothyroid and gained fifty pounds in nine months while the doctors tried to adjust the hormone levels through medication.

What I did next, in retrospect, was the worst choice I could have made. I went on a diet. I successfully lost the fifty pounds in four months. Then I gained fifty five over the next year. I dieted again and lost fifty five. Then I gained sixty over the next two years.

On and on this cycle went, during which I joined Weight Watchers twice, did the Doctor Phil plan three times, participated in a hospital based program three times, had three personal trainers, attended Overeaters Anonymous, and continued to fail.

I now weigh close to three hundred pounds. I have sleep apnea, several bulging and herniated discs, for which I receive regular cortisone injections, I have constant knee pain, none of my clothes fit, and I have the usual self-esteem issues that accompany being overweight and a history of failure at personal goals.

So, the idea of climbing a mountain in fourteen months could be considered ambitious, idealistic, and more than a little crazy, considering I have difficulty tying my shoelaces, and  flight of stairs gets me winded.

On the positive side, I have a tremendous family, a great job, and a good network of friends and colleagues who want me to succeed. I plan to make this climb with my three sons.

The reason I am optimistic about this goal is because each time I have tried to lose weight previously, the weight loss has been the end goal. This time the climb is the end goal, and the weight loss and training are the means to the end. Also, I have never been public about my desire to lose weight, preferring to keep it to myself and my wife, just in case I failed, again.

This time I am asking everyone I know, and even complete strangers to help keep me on track, to hold me accountable, and, like the title of my blog: Don’t let me fail!

As an added incentive, I am going to use this climb as a fundraiser for my workplace, Elmhurst Extended Care, a non-profit eldercare community in Providence RI, that follows the Eden Alternative philosophy. (more about that later, or check it out at edenalt.org) I will ask people to pledge money, to be paid upon a successful climb, to the Eden fund at Elmhurst. People can either donate a lump sum, for example, $25, or pledge money based on the amount of weight I lose, such as $1 per pound.

100% of the money will be used to enrich the lives of elders who live in the Elmhurst community, by enhancing their quality of life. Examples include the purchase of computers so elders can email their families, and/or purchase and care of pets. (So far we have one dog, six cats, and over thirty birds.)

So there you have it, in a nutshell. I need your encouragement. Please don’t let me fail.